Thursday, April 28, 2011

Carrie Underwood with Vince Gill How Great thou Art - 720P HD - Standing...

Miracles in the midst of the storm

Why do I think sometimes God uses miracles and sometimes withholds them?   Because He knows the one He has created, all our faults and weaknesses and He loves us.   If He allowed miraculous events to take place through some of us, it would become all about us and not about Him.  God almighty will not share his glory with anyone. 
When we were in India the first time, Steve wanted so badly to see a  miraculous healing take place.  But instead God sent us to pray for believers with no immediate results, until one night in the most remotest village a man had a seizure.  The Indian pastors wouldn't even touch him, they thought putting a set of keys in his hands would heal him, so Steve prayed for him and he was able to relax.   He says to this day he has not had another seizure.  God taught Steve in that moment that He is still able to miraculously heal, but He didn't want our trip to be about miracles but about showing the people of India His love. 
Whether our Lord chooses to save us out of the storm or carry us through the storm or bring us home as a result of the storm, God does not change.  His love is always constant.
Bad things happen, it has been that way from Adam.
I remember back to when I was diagnoses with cancer.  I was totally devastated.  It was a level 5 melanoma on the inside of my right calf.  When my Doctor called to give me the news of the biopsy he cried.
I was young, with 3 small children.  Rachel was about 8, Alyssa 3 or 4 and Hunter was around 2 yrs old.  It was very bad news.  I had had that mole all my life but in the last year or so it had begun to change.  The Doctors in Ft. Worth were sure that by now it had spread.
In addition to this bad news we had no health insurance.  Our daughter Alyssa was born with a heart defect and had to have surgery when she was 18 months old.  We had insurance at that time but the medical bills piled up and my husband was in medical school.  After her recovery we were forced to make a decision.  We dropped all our insurance and placed Alyssa under the Easter Seal program.
I was sent to one of the doctors associated with the med school in Ft. Worth.  After reviewing our situation he refered me to another Doctor at MD Anderson in Houston.  I had to be accepted as a candiate for a study they were doing and I was.
My experience at MD Anderson was a mixed bag of emotions.  I saw the coldness of many who had obviously worked there way too long and the compassion of strangers who took me into their home and cared for me after my surgery so that I wouldn't have to travel back and forth or stay in a hotel..   (thank you once again to the Rice family)
To my doctors I was just another candidate in a long study.
While in recovery, my doctor came in to check on me and couldn't even remember what leg he had just operated on.  I was poked, looked at and discussed by every medical student there, with no regard to my personal feelings.  When it came time to have a pap smear my husband had to show the student how to do it.
I was mortified, and humiliated, scared, worried but always in Gods hands.
He had not abandoned me or forgotten me.  He carried me through it all. 
After I got back home I was placed under the care of yet another Doctor in Ft. Worth.  I was expecting the same cold treatment as I experienced a MD Anderson.  I was, however, happily wrong
When it was my turn to go back to have my blood drawn the women asked me my name, not my number. She held my hand for a moment and looked me in the eye.  She asked me about me, and about my family..  Then before she was about to draw the blood she asked me to look at a picture she had on the wall.
It was an amazing picture of the inside of a hurricane.  She told me her brother flies into hurricanes to check the pressure.  He snapped this picture of the very center.
Then she pointed to the center of the hurricane--remember this is inside the hurricane not above.
She asked me to tell her what I saw.
Tears weld up in my eyes as I saw very distinctly the clouds in the definite detailed form of a man in a white robe, and in his arms was a lamb.  You could see every detail...awesome.
She told me, reassured me.that day, that though we go through trials and storms, Jesus our savior is always there, in the midst of the storm, carrying us through it.
He will never leave us of forsake us.
He loves us, OH how He loves us!
Yes, He could have miraculously  healed me before going through all that.  Or He could have never allowed me to have  had cancer at all, but for my good and His glory, He chose to allow me that experience to prove His mercy, His grace, and improve my faith.
My God is faithful and just.

Oh the depth and riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!  For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? Or who has given to Him that it might be paid back to Him again?  For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.  To Him be the glory forever. Amen  ( Romans 11:33-36)



Thursday, April 14, 2011

Rejection and rejoicing- setting my feet upon the Rock

There have been times in my life when trouble seemed to be coming from all directions.  During those times Gods expects me to keep my eyes on Him.
He gave us His word, the scriptures, for our help.  He gave us His Holy Spirit for comfort.  We need to rely on Him.
When, then, we have been comforted, and have come through the valley or out of the pit, we are to help others and share in their sufferings.  We are to pray for them and encourage them.
                               We all need it!!
Who can I encourage today?

I never gave the apostle Paul's personal life much thought.  He was the son of a Pharisee, converted to Christ.
Talk about loneliness and rejection!
His family probably disowned him. Those years when he went back home must have been difficult and lonely.
What do you imagine he went through?
I imagine he spent a lot of time praying for his family, trying to live the life he should, trying to teach them Jesus Christ through-out the scriptures.
To be rejected by your family is tough!
One of the most heart breaking moments for me was during my divorce.  Not only had my husband betrayed me and rejected me, but in a blink of an eye, his mother, whom I loved, cast me aside for a new daughter in law and another woman's child -
As though I were dead.
I was dead to her as Paul might have been to his family.
I praise you Lord for Jesus and your Holy Spirit.  Thank you for giving me your precious words of scripture.
Thank you that I did not remain in the pit of despair
I feel for those who don't know you who might be experiencing these things.
Who would they turn to? Who would comfort them in the middle of the night?

What a friend we have in Jesus all my sins and griefs to bear.  What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.

Ps. 103:2-5
Bless the Lord o my soul
and forget none of His benefits
who pardons all your iniquities
who heals all your diseases
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with loving-kindness and compassion
who satisfies your years with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle



Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Pride and Predjudice

.

A couple days ago, Steve was gone and I was watching one of my favorite chic flicks, Pride and Prejudice.  I love that movie!  I have a hard time with the book but I love the movie! I enjoy watching Miss Elizabeth as she grows from being proud, stubborn, and prejudice against the handsome Mr. Darcy  to allowing love to take hold of her.  Had she remained where she was she would never have had the blessings that finally came her way, a home of her own and a man who truly loves her.
We all have prejudices don't we? Mine may be a little different than yours, but we all have them.

As a teenager I had a terrible prejudice against all people from Mississippi.  While growing up in Dallas, my Dad was the head of the mission board at our church and my Mom loves to entertain, so consequently many Sunday afternoon meals included Missionaries and seminary students, many of those from other countries.  I was taught that its not what a person looks like its whats inside that counts.
Our next door neighbors had moved to Dallas from somewhere in Mississippi.  Their daughter and I were the same age and became very good friends.  I had other friends though as well.  One of those friends was a young man who went to the same Bible Study I attended on Thursday nights.  His name was James, and James just happened to be black.
One day James called and asked if I would like to go to the mall and get some ice cream and I love ice cream and shopping so of course I said yes.  When we got back to my house we stood out front and talk for a while before James left to go home.  When I walked in the door my Mom met me in the living-room visibly upset, so much so that she was shacking.  She didn't seem mad just worried.
"Do you think," she said, "that the next time James comes over, maybe he ought to come in through the back door?"     "WHAT!?" I replied  "What are you talking about?"  Then poor Mom confessed she had just received a phone call from a nosy neighbor who told her that if I was going to be receiving "THAT" kind of guest, in the South, they should come to the back door. ( My parents are Yankees).
Mom and I talked for a minute and she soon calmed down and realized what she was saying and that our neighbors anger had just upset her.
That night during my prayers I "TOLD" the Lord that I would do anything and go anywhere He wanted me except Mississippi!!!!
Don't ever TELL the Lord what He can and cannot do.
Here I am, smack dab in the middle of Mississippi!
How I got here is a long story but before you think I'm here to remove the speck from the eye of everyone in the state, let me tell you I have a plank in my own. 
First of all I have learned that not everyone here is like my old neighbor.  Yes, there are some, in fact at times I am shocked by what can come out of the mouths of some of the most prim and proper christian ladies, but Ive learned that its just a few like that. There are many loving caring people in this state.
I am learning not to be so judgmental.  I'm trying hard not to assume people are a certain way just because of where they live, who they might be related to, or what they did in the past.  Jesus changes people , that's  His job!.  Mine is to be obedient and love my neighbor as myself.  
The Lord works on his people in different ways at different times.  He didn't choose to give me a vision of a sheet coming down from heaven like He did with Peter in Acts 10.  He chose to move me.  To teach me over time that its not about me, it about what will bring glory to Him.
Steve and I were in Aztea having a little tex mex one night and struck up a conversation with a young man who works there.  We asked him why he left Acapulco to come here.  He said for work, a little money and to see beautiful senoritas.  What he said he has learned however, is that its really no different here than anywhere else.  Jobs are hard to find, money is tight, and there are some beautiful women and some ugly ones everywhere you go. 
People are people everywhere.
Im so glad the Lord did choose to move me to Mississippi.    It has taken me a while to really be able to say that.  Had I allowed my prejudices to win over obedience to Christ I would never have received the blessings He had planned.  I am now married to one of the sweetest, most loving men in the south.  He loves everyone, and will talk to anyone anywhere.  Had I remained where I was I would not have the wonderful life I have now and a man who truly loves me.
Thank you Jesus for laughing at me when I was 18 and for planning all along to move me to Mississippi.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

family pictures

one christmas a long time ago
I thought while I was just sitting here I would steal some pictures from my moms computer.

little bubba

Rachel and Claire

cousins, Rachel,Lauren,Alyssa and Claire

Alyssa,Bo and Claire

Steve and I at Rachels wedding

Rachel and papa

the baby shower
My sisters, Tricia,Bev,me, and Lora

sweet Middy we miss you

one thanksgiving in Dallas (hunter)

same year

ok well thats all for now

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Time on my Hands and family history

As you read this please be understanding..I am on my mothers computer and for some reason the spell check is not working.  I can get it to tell me what I have mispelled but it will not correct it for me.  And since I am the worlds worse speller mistakes are inevitable.  It is amazing to me that my children are at all educated since I homeschooled them.  All I can say is Thank God for tapes and satellite school.

Im in Dallas this week caring for my Mom who recently had surgery on her shoulder.   When she is awake Im very busy but when she naps I find myself with not much to do.  The house is clean, dishes washed, laudry done. 

On Monday I thought I would educate myself and took down Harold Hoehners commentary on Ephesians ..hahha
I dont know Greek so after reading his take on election, and most of it elected to fly right over my head, I put the book back on the shelf.

Then I went to my Dads office and found 2 books on the Kinsman family.  I have found some very interesting things out about my ancestors. 
The book begins "by reference to the Pedigree"..... as if we are a litter of puppies.  The earliest record of the Kinsman family was in 1337 in Northamptonshire England,   I will skip quite a bit of it but highlight the items I found of interest.

As a note to keep the confusion down, I have found that people years ago would spell names and other words in many differet ways.  Obviously they didnt have spell check either.  Because of that, Kinsman was also spelled Kynesman, Kinnesman, and Kingsman.

I have always loved English history, mideveal times , castles, Kings and stories of court etc..  so when I read that our ancestor William Kynnesman actually lived in a castle , or rather at least,  died in the castle in Northampton I had to smile...so cool
Another guy,Robert, was a soilder for the King.( if I understand the story correctly) Unfortunatly for him, during the reign of King Charles the first, when there was a civil war between the King and his parliament, he was "compelled to retire beyond the seas"  but later returned to England where he paid a fine and was himself...fine. Then in 1420 Simon Kynesman became a member of Parliment , obtained a license to have mass in his own mansion, and became the sheriff of Northamptonshire in the 9th year of King Henry the V.
It was in 1634 that Robert Kinsman ( he spelled his name Kingsman but dropped the g upon arrival in the new world) sailed on the "Mary and John" to New England and settled in Ipswich.  Then I believe we became the trouble makers.
  In 1687 the son of emigrant Robert, also named Robert Kinsman, rose up along with 3 other men and said that their govenor did not have the right to tax them..they wrote a complaint against said Edmund Androsse and were then sent to Boston for trail, found guilty and put in prison.  They were later released but Robert Kinsman was told he could no longer hold office, was fined 20 pounds then also fined 500 pounds as bond as he was "on good behavior for one year".However, in 1692 Robert was elected to officeof Deputy to the general court by the good people of Ipswich after the gov. was forced to leave office.  He was also quartermaster, what ever that is.
We skip ahead now to 1776 and another Kinsman, John. 
He was 23 years of age in enrolled an an ensign in a company of Conneticut militia, marching to New York, to take position under Gen. Washington, in the defense of his country. He was in Gen Huntingtons regiment and part of the Battle of Long Island.  He was taken prisoner and put in a prison ship.  he remailed there" suffering close confinement, suffering from filth,vermin and near starvation."  Later, Washington wrote a letter asking that John and another man be "exchanged" so that they could "enter into service again"
He did not return to service though but instead remailed in New york and made hats for the army.  Later (1797) he was elected as a representative to the State legislator.  Then after 3 years in office moved to Ohio where he had purchased a bunch of land as a stock holder in the Conneticut land company.
The family continues to branch and branch so that in the 8th generation Monroe Kinsman of Willet, Courtland, NY has a son named Francis.  Francis has a son named Ellwood and Ellwood has a son named Frank.  Then poor Frank has 4 daughters of which I am #3.
So there is my family history the short version. (Remember I said there were 2 volumes in my Dads office)  I hope you were not bored to death.