Tuesday, Bible Study Day

I am going to attempt to put on blog all these thoughts that are going through my head at this moment. What a week of highs lows and in betweens. I dont even know where to begin. My sister wrote on my facebook " Your so sickeningly Happy!"
My response was " I cant help myself"
I was looking over the lessons from this past week that the ladies in my study had done and I didnt get past day 1 when all these memories came back. This is and was the only time I have disagreed with our teacher, Beth Moore. She was talking about Joseph and why he named his son Manasseh. She said it was silly for him to do that because " in naming his son "making forget" Joseph ironically reminded himself of what he was trying to forget."
NO! I dont think so.
You see I have a Manasseh too. Not my son but my horse.
I didnt name him Manasseh because I arrogantly thought I had forgotten my past, but I named him " The Lord has made me forget all my troubles" to remind myself of how much God loves me and how He dragged me out of my pit kicking and screaming!
My x-Ray, used to belittle me. I was "stupid", I was "nothing" I wasnt "good enough" He verbally and physically abused me. For years I fought those words. I new I was better than he thought , but eventually, toward the end, I started to believe it. That was when God dragged me out as I said "kicking and screaming".
As soon as I was out of the pit however, God began to open my eyes to HIS freedom! I had not felt like that in years.!! Do you know, I wasnt even able to read my Bible when he was around. If he saw me with it he would chastise me with words like.."who do you think you are?" "Do you think you are more spiritual than the rest of us?'" " You cant know God!"
OH THE JOY OF BEING OUT OF THE PIT!!!!!!
About 2 years after our divorce, a friend called my now husband, Steve ( what a blessing he is!!!)
and told him they had a horse she thought we would want. She said she would sell him to us for the cost of her vet bills. So we reluctantly went to see him.
That poor thing!
The minute I saw him we connected! He was a year old but we stood eye to eye. ( im only 4ft 10" )
He had no hair on his back, his skin was scaley and crustly. His stomach bulged from malnutrition. He had been abused and neglected.
My friend told us he was an Arabian with champian blood lines, but his owner had been so caught up in himself that he had forgotten his horse. That little thing lived in the open with no shelter, no grass, little to no water and no food. But when they came to rescue him, they had to drag him out of there. He was just too weak to leave on his own.
They told me he wouldnt be a very large horse, he might always have problems, he wouldnt amount to much. They said dont expect him to be pretty, or useful. But he will make a good pet. I looked into those deep brown eyes and thought NO! They dont know how big my God is !
I took Manasseh home. When he saw all that green grass, fresh water and a barn, he wanted to run and kick up his heals. It took him months to get healthy enough, but eventually he did!
My friends saw him about a year later and had to ask if it was the same horse. He's gorgeous! He is chessnut colored with a white blaze down his face. Have you ever seen an Arabian run? They hold their head high and tail up! Beautiful!
The old owner saw him one day and offered lots of money to buy him back. NEVER!! He will never have to go back to that pit! And neither do I.!
I am free to run
I am free to dance
I am free to live for You
I AM FREE ! -newsboys
Sickenling happy? Yes PRAISE GOD ! YES